The Challenge of Grief: A Counsellor’s Perspective
Grief is one of the most universal - and yet most uniquely personal - human experiences. As a counsellor, I have sat with many people walking through teh aftermath of loss: the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of health, a job, or even a sense of identity. What I’ve learned is that while grief touches everyone, the journey through it rarely looks the same twice.
Grief is rarely ‘neat and tidy.’ It can come in waves of sadness, anger, guilt, relief, confusion - sometimes all in the same day. These emotions do not cancel each other out; they coexist because loss affects every part of us.
Some people struggle with unexpected emotions - anger at the person who died, guilt for feeling moments of happiness, or releif that suffering has ended. These feelings are not wrong or invalid. They are an important part of your journey with grief.
Greif is not only emotional as it disrupts sleep, concentration, appetite, and overall physical health. Expressions like, “I feel like I’m in a fog” or “I can’t think straight” are common. Understanding that grief affects our bodies - our senses can help normalize what might otherwise feel alarming.
These emotions and experiences can be compounded by how quickly it seems the world moves on around you. After the funeral, the calls and visits slow down. Friends go back to work, life carry’s on - except for the person in greif, whose world still feels shattered. That isolation can deepen pain, which is why connection and finding meaning is important.
Finding meaning is not the same as “closure.” Closure can sometimes imply closing a door, but with greif, it’s not about closing a door or ‘moving on.’ Instead, it’s about mooving forward with and through the grief - writing new chapters while honouring the old ones. Finding meaning can look different for each person. It may start as sharing memorites, developing rituals, writing letters, or finding creative expressions to honour the loss. In some instances, it may even lead to developing organizations or initiatives to raise awareness or to help others that may be experiencing the same kinds of pain.
Greif is not a problem to solve, but a sacred process of adaptation. It reveals the depth of our capacity to love - and our resilience in learning to live with loss. My role is not to take away your grief, but to walk beside you, helping you find your footing when the ground beneath you has shifted.
Grief changes us. But with compassion, support and time, it can deepen our connection to life.
